My house has been a desert land far too often. I have been quarrelsome and fretful, arguing about little details and determined to give the last word. This isn’t easy to admit, but it’s true. And I can’t blame it on anyone but myself.
I want to become a joyful woman. I want to embrace the love and laughter that my husband and children give me. They are the most important people to me, and they do not deserve to live in the desert land that I have created. Our land can be filled with anger and madness. It can be covered in biting remarks and sarcasm. The eye rolls and sighs are aplenty. It is barren and dry.
So how do I make the rain come? How do I create a garden of love and kindness for my family? I want that joy, laughter, and compassion. But I fall short most days. I’m either too tired or too aggravated to put in the work that it takes to tend to that garden. This needs to change, I recognize that and so does my husband. He pleads with me to stop being prideful and let things go. He tells me about the stress I cause him when I argue nonstop. He’s even told me that my stepdaughter is beginning to resent me.
His words have more power than any other discipline that he could implement. They burn my heart not because he says them but because I know they’re true.
Today is a new day. Today can be filled with sunshine if I allow it. Today I can bring joy to my husband and stepdaughter. I can show my love to them by more than just saying the words.