Father’s Day is different this year. All our children are with their respective other parents, so my husband and I have spent the day alone. It’s quiet in this house. Too quiet. “A” has only been gone 48 hours, and my daughter has been gone for three weeks. No matter the length of their absences, I miss these girls so much. Some days I crave silence when their little voices get to be too much, but now, as they’re both gone for weeks at a time, I wish I could hear their laughter and questions more than anything right now.
But, we’ve still celebrated Father’s Day today by going to church and lunch. Right now our church is studying Nehemiah who built the wall around Jerusalem in 52 days “for the glory of God and to the benefit of others.” Our pastors have described Nehemiah’s work as the burden that he felt upon his soul. They then ask what is our burden? What burden is on my heart “for the glory of God and to the benefit of others”? I think my biggest burden is to be a better wife and mother.
The pastors talk about the resistance and “burden killers” who will try to make you lose your focus from fulfilling your burden. There are so many for me. As I’ve mentioned before I don’t tell people that I am practicing submission and have a CDD relationship with my husband. I don’t have the confidence that people will understand our marriage. Still, as the Nehemiah series has explained, it’s important for me to have an inner circle of people I can trust to help me fulfill my burdens. My inner circle is small but infinitely strong: God and my husband.
So today was a pretty laid-back Father’s Day, but I am reminded of my inner circle and how thankful I am for them both. I’m thankful that God shown me infinite grace and loves me despite my many faults and sins. And I am thankful for my husband who seems to know me better than I know myself a lot of the time. He knows when I’m happy and when I’m sad, when I’m struggling with depression and when I’m happy. I love him, and I submit to him as his wife.