This post isn’t about submission, per se. It’s about the love I have for my husband.
You see, this week has been really tough on me. Work has been almost unbearable because of some unnecessary drama, and I’ve felt like a failure. As a perfectionist, I don’t like screwing up. I took over a management position in February, and I didn’t receive the training I should have. That’s not an excuse. It’s just a fact. I’ve had to let employees go, and I’ve had some difficulties with the administrative portion of this job. I want to do a good job. I pride myself on doing good work. That’s why I beat myself up when I recognize that I’ve made mistakes. I try not to make excuses for those mistakes, though. I own them. So, this week has been a lot of admitting that I’ve messed up. Not fun.
But then there’s my husband waiting for me at home. He wants so desperately to protect me from disrespect and people who hurt me. He gets angry when he knows that people have done me wrong. I, on the other hand, try to run from those problems. But he hasn’t let me run this week.
I’ve cried on his shoulder, I’ve vented, and I’ve gotten snippy with him, but he still loves me. He knows that I can do this job, and he wants me to succeed. We’re not happy where we’re living and we have plans to move, but until then, he wants me to make the best out of the situation.
Throughout this awful week, we haven’t fought. I’ve made a concerted effort to understand his anger and frustration, and I’ve tried not to take it personally. He tells me over and over again that he isn’t angry with me. He’s angry at the situation. That comforts me.
And that’s just one of the reasons why I love him. He has been my rock this week. He’s told me when I can break down and when I need to be strong. That is love. He knows me better than I know myself some times, and that helps me move forward through this.
He also reminds me that I need to pray to God to give me strength. So that’s what I’d like to do now.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for giving me such a loving husband. We don’t always agree, and we are so different in so many ways, but we love each other. We’re working through our issues, and I ask that you heal the hurt that we’ve caused each other. Please guide us through CDD and help me to follow your words to be a submissive wife to him. Please bless us and our three children so that we can have a good life.
And also, dear Lord, please give me strength to move past this week at work. Please help me to forgive those who have hurt me and to put the past behind me. Please let next week be better, and please help me to be a good boss.
Thank you, Lord, for your many gifts, and thank you for your continued love that you shower upon me and my family.
In your gracious name. Amen.