WomanSilencingSelfI came across this link to “The Better Mom” site this morning. It’s called Making a Pledge to Keep It Shut. It’s a timely read since I’ve been thinking so much about silencing my tongue.

One of the writing prompts from the site is “I don’t want to be a gasoline queen anymore, throughout fuel on an already smoldering situation by escalating a family argument.”

I am definitely a gasoline queen. When I feel threatened or frustrated, I will throw out remarks that hit below the belt. Hard. The words I use in anger are extremely hurtful, and I have a great deal of remorse and shame for what I’ve said in the past. This isn’t something new. I’ve done this since I can remember. It’s a terrible character flaw of mine. I pride myself in being an honest person, but when the anger comes, it seems like honesty turns into vicious attacks.

The next few weeks are going to be a challenge for me to stop being a gasoline queen. My stepdaughter is back home from seeing her mom, and my stepson is now visiting us as well. My husband and I had a long talk about not fighting in front of the kids and not letting them hear us argue. If I feel upset or angry about something, I need to bite my tongue and save it for a calm conversation later. It’s not good for the kids to hear us argue, especially because we want to make this a special visit for my stepson. So I have to be calm, patient, and submissive as we get through this time. They say that it takes 28 days to build a habit, maybe this will be the starting point of this new habit as well.

Ephesians 4:29: Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Advertisements